Anger Management and Patience Testing

My day began waking up to my youngest son, tending to his needs then some time for reading my Bible. It should be noted that I have been slacking off on this important task and I have reaped what I have sown. I usually read at night before snoozing off, but like a pastor friend (John Aydelott) of mine once said, "...it doesn't give you much time to apply it to your day nor to meditate on it." Well said John. Here is what I read: (Luke 18:1-8)

1Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'

4"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, 5yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "

6And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

Then I went about my morning routine and made plans to go to a park nearby for playtime with my boys and a picnic lunch. As predictable, I was becoming impatient with my children and I loathe how long it takes me to get out the door when I want to go someplace. In my actions I tend to blame my children, but I know it is my inability to prepare the day before or at all. When you have a fly by the seat of your pants planing scheme, then you should be prepared for that type of departure. I am almost never prepared.

I had my firstborn son help me find the directions on the Internet and I wrote them down on paper. He suggested we print them out. He loves everything about printers, especially getting the paper after it has been printed. I wanted to leave and was impatient and said, "let's just write it down on this scrap piece of paper. That way we don't wasted ink and a new piece of paper." He conceded.

In my stubborn hurried (and by this point angry) state I dropped the directions somewhere in the house. Cut for time, I did not search for them assuming I could remember most of it anyways. Two hours in the car of driving from here to there, two different sets of directions from helpful people on the street and I was really lost. Two cranky boys, and a really hungry family stopped at the closest park I could find. Just grass and a huge enclosed baseball field. My memory of the directions didn't do me any good.

After leaving the ball park - not the playground & farm fun park, my oldest son asks, "Mama. Can God help us find the park?" Zoiks! I had driven frustrated, near rage and hungry for two hours and not once did I pray! Lameness. "Yes", I replied. "God can help us find the park. But we will have to try another time because we need to get home now." "I am really sorry that we got so lost August and that I didn't have the directions. Next time I'll print them. You had a really good idea to do that." "That's okay Mama." he replied.

If I had just been like the persistent widow. If I had thought to ask my God for help, to continue to seek him for my help I might have been spared the humiliating drive all over town. If I had planned better I wouldn't have been in such a hurry. If I had listened to my persistent son's idea to print those directions we would have enjoyed our lunch and walked through the farm and played too.

It is true that I am impatient. It is also true that I struggle greatly with my anger. Today was a fine example of how these two poor character traits of mine can really ruin a good time. Not to mention how it ruins countless other things. May God change my heart so that I can be loving, patient, kind, peaceful, joy filled, gentleness and faithful to seek him for all my needs!

In Christ,
Elizabeth